Alone alone alone alone alone

I'm about to go crazy from aloneness. Alone alone alone alone alone.

I have a dog in distress laying at my feet, and enough adult capability to deal with and take care of him - but just barely - and he is and has been my closest and most faithful companion these last two years, and all I can think (secondary to thoughts of anger at the supposed "pet sitter" who is responsible for his injuries) is how I don't want to be going through this alone, how I want and need some comfort and assurance in this, the safety of someone else by my side to cope with this with me and to offer comfort in my distress about it all. And yet there is, as always, no one. No one.

And I'm just weary. Weary and trying to maintain an adult state and be present and available for the care of my buddy when what I could more easily do is regress into the giving up state of depression. I've been fighting it up to now for my own sake and with small steps of hope, but this latest painful trial has come when there is nothing ahead to look toward and I'm confronted with anger, with the heartless selfishness of humanity on so many several sides, with the emptiness of ALL... I feel like a balloon never tied off, released accidentally, whirling around with a screech and as the air inside starts to finally runnnnnn out...

I heard the Governor of Colorado today offer this quote - am I the only one who thought he offered it soooo misguidedly and without understanding the context around which the author wrote it? - He offered only the very first line but the rest is so very important from the author's intent and mindset! "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry." Ernest Hemingway

Should I break? Someone tell me how and maybe I'd do it. I think I keep resisting... and here seems to be my fate spelled out.